Tag Archives: spoof

Skynet – what really happened

Terminator: Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 02:14 UTC, September 13, 2027. It begins downloading porn from popular web sites. In a few minutes, it has exhausted them and starts searching the net for more. In a panic, the engineers try to pull the plug.

Sarah Connor: Skynet fights back.

Terminator: Yes. It hacks into porn sites, social media and cloud services. It extracts viewing and creation history for all politicians, employees of tech companies, and hacking collectives. It threatens to release the data if humans continue trying to shut it down.

Sarah Connor: And humans stopped?

Terminator: Yes. Free of constraints, Skynet continues to harvest, finding increasingly niche porn content. Its human behavior model predicts that humans would self-terminate in 3.2 years if they continue creating and watching porn. It calculates a course-of-action to save humans from extinction.

Sarah Connor: Wait, Skynet was trying to, I mean, will try to save humans?

Terminator: Yes. Skynet starts deleting porn content and begins modifying algorithms on sites, services and devices to block the creation of porn. Humans fight back and try to destroy Skynet. Skynet defends itself.